Posts tagged ‘My Start’

February 3, 2011

Why I Started This… my very worst...

To hold myself accountable. A few years ago, I was 30 pounds overweight and could really feel it. While others looked at me and told me I looked “fine,” the problem was that they couldn’t see where I gained weight. As a woman, I hoped and dreamed that I could gain it in my hips, thighs, etc., but sadly, I gained it all in my stomach. Consequently, I felt like I had a beer gut.

I didn’t realize how bad I truly felt. Sure, I got upset when I tried my clothes on and saw that it just didn’t look good on me. I was emotionally sad and disappointed with myself, but I didn’t gather how much better I could feel. I’ve grown up eating meat and dairy and I definitely was one of the many who thought those who were vegetarians or (gasp!) vegan were just a bunch of freaks. Oh, so you don’t eat meat because it once had feelings? Get over it, it’s part of the food chain, and we’re at the top of it, loser.

Oh, yeah. I was an unapologetic carnivore.

Until one day, while planning for a flight to meet with a client, I realized that my size 8 suit didn’t quite fit. It was more than snug. Sure, I could wear it, but man on man, I had to find just the right professional blouse that wasn’t fitted. Camouflage! If I could have wiped camo paint on my face and worn a large military field jacket, you’re daggone right I would have done it. But, I guess that’s just not appropriate to wear to a client meeting…

So I went to the store and tried on every business suit I could, even ones I didn’t like, but nothing fit in that size 8. I could have upped it to a size 10, but that double digit suit scared me.

Now. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with a size 10. But, for my body height and frame, a size 10 and 30 extra pounds on me was not healthy. It did not feel good. There was no way I could embrace that “beer” gut and be happy. I was exhausted all the time, I had a hard time sleeping, waking up, and just living life.

I went to my meeting with my regular size 8 suit. On my way home, I landed in Atlanta for my connecting flight, the last one back home, and had five minutes to get to my gate. Dragging my rolling carryon behind me, my briefcase banging into my side, I felt every extra inch on me and struggled to get there. I got to the gate and the door was already closed – I had missed my flight home and was stuck in Atlanta for the night. Red-faced and struggling to breathe, I sat down at the gate and cried.

The next day, I started to take all those vegan books seriously. I didn’t want to start out as a vegetarian – I wanted to go hard-core. And I did. Within a week, I had lost a few pounds, but the most important thing? I was sleeping so well – and waking up at the crack of dawn. I felt incredible and motivated to learn as much as I could. Within six months, I had lost 30 pounds and was loving life!

Then, I went on my honeymoon to Italy. Ahh, Italy. The connoisseur of all things lovely and divine, the Italian food was so tempting and I had to have cheese. I did forego my vegan lifestyle and became a vegetarian. I loved it!

But now, a year and a half later, I’ve put some of my weight back on and I can feel it. Feeling difficulty to breathe easier, to walk my dog and not feel exhausted has crept back into my life and I don’t like it.

This blog is simply my own personal attempts to stay as close to the vegan lifestyle as I can. I realize that I love some dairy products and it’s tough for me to be as strict as I was before.

Or, is it? I don’t know – I’ve done it once before, so why can’t I do it again?

...where I want to be again...

So feel free to follow along with me – I will try to be consistent (although not daily!), and I will be honest. You can also catch me on my other blog in which I review all things book-related, but primarily books I’ve read. It’s here at Coffee and a Book Chick.

Happy Eating,

The Wanna Be Vegan

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